The Stages (a series), pt. II

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poetry / The stages (a series).

I.

I will buy my way to perfect. I will purchase freedom. I will swipe myself to bliss. I can buy a good soul (on sale!) to peer into. Can’t work with my soul. Not as it is, any way–nobody wants to peer into that. I can buy one, though. All the blogs say so. I wonder what it will look like. (I’m ordering it online, and sometimes you don’t get what you pay for, you know?)

I will buy my way to perfect. Nobody bothers with cultivating authenticity. People have put those two words together, the intent obviously being that we should define both words together, you know, as a phrase. But whenever I see these guys on Oprah I feel like just to catch up with them spiritually I have to buy. Buy a book and good lighting and quality makeup and a wardrobe that screams “me.” Maybe that’s not what anybody else gets out of it. Maybe I’m shopping to bury a hole.

Ooh, how insightful. Now I sound just like those people I just mentioned. It’s a lot of work to be awesome. Maybe I’m just doing it wrong. In fact that’s very possible.

Maybe I am buying the wrong things.

II.

Inna nother life
I was a
Hummingbird
Floating from
One flower to the other
The various scents pulling my feathered body in different directions

In this life
I am a hummingbird
Inna human’s body
But

Hummingbirds who masquerade as humans can get crushed by the weight of expectation,
They can get blown back by it, wind-damaged wings
Then they can’t fly no more
Then they are crushed into a birch box for long term hibernation
Then they slowly
Lose the life in they eyes
The flowers around them
Begin to
Look withered
The sun
Casts them in a dull light
The impetus then becomes
To
Participate in rote chirping

Singing the same lines
Over and over
On the same tree branch,
Clinging to the knowledge that
You never
Have to sing a different song again

(2016)

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